Rurouni Baka
by Captain Black Rum
Summary: Rurouni Baka-Wandering Idiot. Each chapter is the story of a different wandering idiot! Ch3: Saitou doesn't like green eggs and ham! GET YER CANDLES! Aoshi's a cow? OO
1. Dead Beavers

~Rurouni Baka~  
  
Hey minna-san! Welcome to another episode of Rurouni Baka! See, we've taken  
Rurouni Kenshin, and we've.....uhhh.....-modified- it! Yessss.....-modified-  
.....*cough* So, instead of "Wandering Kenshin", you know what we've got?  
Wandering Idiot! Each episode will be about a different wandering idiot and  
the different moronic situations they get into!  
  
Yahiko: . HEY!  
  
Sanosuke: Nani?!?!  
  
Kenshin: 0.0 Oro?  
  
Saitou: -_-;;; Ahou.  
  
Aoshi: .......  
  
Kaoru: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME BAKA, YOU BAKA! *struggles to attack the author  
while being restrained by Kenshin and Sano.*  
  
Okita: *counting the number of triangle shaped thingies on his gi* One,  
two, three....*looks up* Nani?  
  
Aoshi: ^_^ I like puppies!  
  
Everyone: O.O *stops and turns around slowly to stare at Aoshi*  
  
Aoshi: .......*has blank expression again*  
  
o.O;;; And without further stupidity from the characters, we'll begin the  
first episode!  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
=-=  
~Rurouni Baka~  
  
-=-Okita Souji starring in:  
Dead Beavers-=-  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
=-=  
  
Okita Souji sits on a peaceful, grassy riverbank, a fishing pole in  
hand. The wind blows gently, the river gurgles quietly, birds chirp  
cheerfully, and everything is absorbed in tranquility. Except for  
Okita, that is.  
  
Okita: *feels a tug on the fishing line and excitedly starts pulling it up,  
only to reveal a dead beaver that had gotten caught on the line.* O.o  
Nani?! Doesn't this pond have anything other than beavers? *tosses the  
deceased rodent into a tall pile of dead beavers off to the side, muttering  
to himself* Must have been a beaver massacre or something......Hey, maybe  
they've got some sort of Revolution going on down there! ^-^*laughs to  
himself*  
  
Dead Beaver: S'matter o' fact, we do, sos ya better be keepin' yer nose  
outta business that ain't yours, runt! *promptly returns to deceased  
state.*  
  
Okita: o.o Yessir.  
  
So, Okita goes back to fishing. He sits for hours with his fishing  
pole, but the only things that it catches are more dead beavers.  
Finally, Okita grows bored of fishing.  
  
Okita: *tossing another dead beaver onto the now very tall pile* I never  
thought that a little river like this could hold so many beavers! That was  
number  
999,999,999,991.874,565,498,732,112,365,498,732,145,698,778,946,541,123,789,  
654,123,321,654,789,789,654,123,987,456,321! Well, this is getting boring.  
Maybe I'll go see Himura-san. .....What -was- I doing here anyway?  
~BEGIN FLASHBACK~  
  
Okita: ^___________________^ *walking along and licking an official  
Shinsengumi lollipop-colored blue and white, of course.* ((Official  
Shinsengumi lollipops! Now you can -taste- the greatness of the Shinsengumi  
and be loyal to it even when pointlessly purchasing candy! [We. Are.  
Watching you. You. Must. Buy. All. Shinsengumi. Merchandise. Immediately.  
Aku. Soku. Zan.] Even covers up the smell of blood with its blueberry-  
licious-ness! From the makers of Shinsengolf-y! Aku Soku Zan!))  
  
Random Person: Hey! You! Do you have any chandeliers I can borrow?  
  
Okita: ^_^;; I'm afraid not, sir, but I -could- help--  
  
Random Person: I HATE YOU! *sobs and pushes Okita onto a peaceful grassy  
riverbank, throwing a fishing pole at him, then runs away.*  
  
Okita: 0.o Ow.  
  
-*-END FLASHBACK-*-  
  
Okita: o.O;; Oh. That was an odd way to start off the day......*coughs*  
  
A tumbleweed rolls by.  
  
Okita: Yes.......So I'll just go see Himura, then! *walks away calmly from  
the dead beaver pile, then stops, glances to the left, then the right, and  
runs away as fast as possible, using official Shinsengumi running shoes.*  
((Official Shinsengumi running shoes! Now you can be up to date with the  
latest fashion, AND be ready to run into battle whenever you may need to!  
Our running shoes NEVER break and are easy to repair in the unlikely event  
that they do, unlike the Juppon Gatana Inc.'s shoes, which break easily and  
often take hours to fix! [We. Are. Watching you. You. Must. Buy. All.  
Shinsengumi. Merchandise. Immediately. Aku. Soku. Zan.] Remember; Aku.  
Soku. Zan!))  
  
-At the Kamiya Dojo-  
Sanosuke: *dancing while sprinkling salt on Kaoru's garden* The sun'll come  
out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sunnnnnn!  
  
Kenshin: *hears a noise and peers out from inside the dojo* O.O  
  
Sanosuke: Just thinkin' about tomorrow! Clear away the cobwebs and the  
sorrow! 'till there's nooooooone!  
  
Kenshin: 0.0 S-sanosuke?!  
  
Sanosuke: When there's a day that's gray and lonely, I just stick up my  
chin, and grin, and saaaaaaaaay.......  
  
Kenshin: o.0 Is....Is there a reason why you're salting Kaoru-dono's  
garden?  
  
Sanosuke: THE SUN'LL COME OUT TOMORROW! YOU JUST GOTTA HANG ON TILL  
TOMORROW! COME WHAT MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!  
  
Kenshin: O.o Oroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?  
  
Sanosuke: TOMORROW! TOMORROW! I LOVE YOU, TOMORROW! YOU'RE ONLY A DAY  
AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!  
  
Kenshin: o.o  
  
Sanosuke: *turns around slowly and stares at Kenshin* o.o  
  
Kenshin: Ahh......Why are you salting Kaoru-dono's garden, Sano?  
  
Sanosuke: Why, so nothing will ever grow again, of course! ^_^ *brushes the  
rest of the salt off his hands, having spread a foot tall layer of salt on  
the garden*  
Kenshin: O....kay....(thinking: Kaoru-dono's gonna kill meeeeee....Even  
though it was Sanosuke's fault......Run.....Must...run...far....away....)  
  
Kaoru bursts out of the dojo. Off in the distance, Yahiko, Dr. Gensai,  
Megumi, Tsubame, and Ayame and Suzume are seen dragging a large rowboat  
towards the river, all laughing maniacally.  
  
Kaoru: KENSHIN NO BAKA, WHERE ARE YOU?!  
  
Kenshin: 0.0 *timidly* R-right h-here.....  
  
Kaoru: Oh, good! ^_^ What the-WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY GARDEN?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Kenshin: Ah...welllll......you see.....uhhh....Oro?  
  
Kaoru: DON'T YOU 'ORO' ME! *grabs bokken*  
  
Okita: *runs up to them* ^-^ Hi everybody!  
  
Everyone: Hi Dr. Okita!  
  
Misao: Where's Dr. Congo?!?! WHERE IS IT?!  
  
Aoshi: IT'S D! R! NOT DOCTOR!  
PAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAMEEEEECCCCCIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!  
  
Both: Santa Claus is cominggggg to town! *walk off to see Dr. Congo, the  
local psychiatrist.*  
  
Okita: Soooooooooooooooo....'Sup, dawgs?  
Kenshin: *opens his mouth to reply, but is interrupted by Sano.*  
  
Sanosuke: *in British accent* Nothing much, old chap, nothing much! Just  
salting dear Jou-chan's garden here so that nothing will ever grow again!  
Might you join me for a spot of tea?  
  
Okita: o.0 Suuuuuuuuure....  
  
Kenshin and Kaoru: O.o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Sanosuke: ^^ Jolly good! *produces a tea set (complete with tea), table,  
and chairs out of thin air.* Have a seat, my dear fellow, have a seat!  
  
Okita: *sits down cautiously. Is joined by Kenshin and Kaoru.* *whispers to  
Kenshin* What's wrong with him?  
  
Kenshin: *shrugs* He's been acting strange all morning.  
  
Sanosuke: ^_______________________________________________^ *hums  
cheerfully to himself, pouring everyone tea*  
  
Kenshin: So, Okita, what brings you here?  
  
Okita: Well, I was walking down the street for no apparent reason, licking  
my official Shinsengumi lollipop ((BUY THEM NOW! AKU SOKU ZAN!)), when the  
next thing I knew I was sitting by a river with a fishing pole. So I  
started fishing, but all these dead beavers kept getting caught on the line  
instead of fish, and one of the dead beavers yelled at me, and then I  
decided to come visit you, Himura, so here I am!  
  
Kenshin: Okay.  
  
Kaoru: ........  
Sanosuke: *takes a bite out of his teacup* Crunch-a-tize me, Cap'n!  
  
Kenshin: *realizes something* Heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.  
  
Okita: Hai?  
  
Kenshin: Aren't you, y'know, s'posed to be dead?  
  
Okita: O.O *twitch* Who *twitch* told *twitch* you *twitch* that?!?!?!?  
*twitch. twitch.*  
  
Saitou: *jumps into the scene* Ohhhh, it's a small world after all! It's a  
small world after all! It's a small world after all, it's a small, small  
worrrrrlllllllldddddd!!!!!! *bows*  
  
Okita: Hey! Hi, Saitou-san!  
  
Saitou: Okita?! But I thought you died of tuberculosis on May thirtieth at  
age twenty-six in that hospital that nobody visited you at!  
  
Okita: That's right......No one ever did visit me. ;_; I FEEL SO ALONE!  
  
Sanosuke: *sings to the tune of the Mickey Mouse song (y'know: M-i-c-k-e-y,  
M-o-u-s-e!)* S-O-U-Z-O-U, S-A-G-A-R-A! Souzou Sagara! *clapclap* Souzou  
Sagara! *clapclap* *continues singing through a mouthful of jagged teacup  
pieces*  
  
Okita: Anou.......I FEEL SO ALONE! ;_;  
  
Saitou: It's okay to feel saaaaaad!  
  
Kenshin, Kaoru, Sanosuke, Saitou: Bob got his hair cut! TOO SHORT!  
Okita: Okay! Ok-ita....Ok-ay......WOW! IT'S SORTA-NOT-REALLY THE SAME!  
  
Saitou: Let's ride donkeys to the bottom! ((New! Official Shinsengumi  
donkeys! Now when you're going to and from the battlefield, you can ride in  
-style- on these high quality, officially official Shinsengumi donkeys!  
Recommended by Hijikata himself! [We. Are. Watching you. You. Must. Buy.  
All. Shinsengumi. Merchandise. Immediately. Aku. Soku. Zan.] Remember: Aku.  
Soku. Zan!))  
  
Sanosuke: Jolly good! *whistles*  
  
At the sound of Sanosuke's whistle, several donkeys roll down Mount Everest  
and across Tea's land of toothbrushes to the Kamiya dojo, where they stand  
attentively.  
  
Karou: Aren't donkeys supposed to walk, not roll?  
  
Sanosuke: URUSAI! Not these donkeys! These are -quality- donkeys! *pats the  
donkey next to him*  
  
Donkey: *flops over lamely*  
  
Sanosuke: *nods* Yup, quality! Besides, we built this city on rock n'  
rolllllllll!!!!!!!! WE BUILT THIS CITY! WE BUILT THIS CITY! ON ROCK N  
ROOOOOOOLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: *stares at him*  
  
Sanosuke: WHAT'D WE BUILD IT ON?! *stands up on the table* WE BUILT THIS  
CITY! WE BUILT THIS CITY! ON ROCK N-----  
  
Suddenly, a dead beaver shoots through the air and knocks him flat on his  
back, unconscious!  
  
Okita: *standing with a dead beaver-shooting gun held firmly in his hands*  
ANYONE ELSE WANNA PIECE OF ME?!?!?!?!  
  
Everyone else: 0_0 *shakes their heads quickly*  
  
Okita: Allllllllll righty then. *calms down immediately*  
  
Suddenly (again), squid start raining down from the sky!  
  
Saitou: I WANNA WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS! *goes off to join Aoshi and  
Misao with Dr. Congo.*  
  
Okita: ;_;  
  
Kaoru: What's wrong now, Okita-kun?  
  
Okita: I......I don't like squid. *stares sadly at the ground*  
  
Dead Beaver: URUSAI! *comes flying through the air and hits Kenshin and  
Kaoru on the head, rendering them both unconscious.*  
  
Okita: ^-^ Foreign cheese! *holds hand up in a peace sign as squid fall all  
around him, making squishing noises.*  
^_________________________________________^  
  
THE END.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
=-  
  
Stay tuned next time for Episode Two: Soujiro and Pea Man!  
  
--Taji & Kohana 


	2. The Psychologist's Stupid Attempt

Yes! As you've seen from the first chapter Taji and I are insane! Insane as  
in crazy! Crazy as in weird! Weird as in abnormal! Abnormal as in dumb!  
Dumb as in ugly! Yes we are all these things and we proud to give you this  
insane fic. Enjoy the insaness!  
  
~Rurouni Baka~  
  
-=-Seta Soujiro staring in:  
Psychologists Stupid Attempt of Being Psychologists-=-  
  
The sun rose in the eastern sky, bringing light to all the friendly people  
in the world. All was peaceful.  
  
Sun: *singing a corny song.* It's a beautiful morning and it's as peaceful  
as ship that just has been bombed!  
  
Trees: The birds are singing and the cash is cha-chinging!  
  
Saitou: *in a pink octopus costume wearing a hat that says, Oswald the  
Octopus.* And nothing is sad and bllllluuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeee! *twitches  
and disintegrates.*  
  
Bird with sombrero: My brains are getting fried by the sun! But it is still  
fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!  
Fun! Fun! Fun! Fu-  
  
Soujiro: *stabs bird.*  
  
Sun, Trees, and Saitou's lonely discarded cigarette: BIRD KILLER! *start  
throwing marshmallows at Soujiro.*  
  
Soujiro: GGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY  
MMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLTTTTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGG  
GGGGGGGGGGGGNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!  
  
Some guy in pea costume: *runs in the middle of the marshmallow beating,  
picks up Soujiro in his Ferris Wheel he had tied on his back, and runs  
away.*  
  
After a few hours of sprinting over the clementime filled ocean, the guy in  
the pea costume finally stopped for a pit stop by a smelly old swamp in the  
middle of nowhere.  
  
Pea Guy: *sets Soujiro down as heroic music plays.*  
  
Soujiro: *smiles.* Thank you for saving be Pea-san.  
  
Pea Guy: *grinning broadly.* I want to steal your peas!  
  
Soujiro: Yes..I bet you do..  
  
Pea Guy: I want to steal your peas!  
  
Soujiro: 0.0'  
  
*~Few Hours Later~*  
  
Soujiro: *in a psychologist's office with Pea Guy.* Don't worry. I've been  
here many times before. They can help you.  
  
Pea Guy: I want to steal your peas!  
  
Psychologist #1: *whispering to another psychologist.* Do you think that's  
the only thing he says?  
  
Psychologist #2: Nah! He probably just needs encouragement.  
  
Pea Guy: I want to steal your peas!  
  
*~Five Minutes Later~*  
  
Psychologist: So..you say you steal peas...what do peas mean to you?  
  
Pea Guy: I want to steal your peas!  
  
Psychologist: Hmm. *jots down notes.* Mr.Peas..what was your childhood  
like?  
  
Pea Guy: I want to steal your peas!  
  
Psychologist: Hmm. *jots down some more notes.* I will now show you an  
inkblot and you have to tell me what you see. *holds up inkblot.*  
  
Pea Guy: I will steal your peas!  
  
Psychologist: Interesting...*jots down some more notes but is really  
doodling and playing tic tac toe with herself.*  
  
*~After the Session~*  
  
Soujiro: So did you find anything out?  
  
Psychologist: Um...yes, yes I did!  
  
Soujiro: May I see your notes?  
  
Psychologist: Er...Look over there! It's Elvis Presley doing the limbo!  
*points finger at random person.*  
  
Soujiro: Where? *looks at who she's pointing at.*  
  
Psychologist: *eats notes.* Oh I'm sorry, I seemed to devour my notes.  
  
Soujiro: That's okay! Happens to me all the time! ^_^ Come on Pea-san!  
*walks out the door with Pea Guy.*  
  
Pea Guy: I want to steal your peas!  
  
*~Few Hours Later~*  
  
Soujiro and Pea Guy: *Laying under the stars peacefully as good friends  
do.*  
  
Soujiro: I'm glad you're my friend Pea-san.  
  
Pea Guy: I want to steal your peas!  
  
*lights fade out.*  
  
Sanosuke: *appears.* Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love you! Tomorrow! You're only  
a ddddddddddaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy  
aaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  
  
Dead Beaver: *flies through the air and knocks him out.*  
  
THE END.  
  
Stay tuned next time for Episode 3: Sanosuke and the Ape-ricots! (You don't  
wanna know.)  
  
-Taji&Kohana  
  
A/N: If you really like Soujiro read "Are You Crying?" On Taji's account. I  
recommend! ^_^ 


	3. Saitou Does Not Like Green Eggs And Ham

Disclaimer: Feh.  
  
A/N: Hello! It's Taji! I know we said we were doing Sano and the Ape Ricots  
next, but...we didn't! SO HA! I'm writing this chapter because...I did the  
first chapter, Kohana did the second chapter, and I like patterns, so I'm  
doing the third chapter. Sano and the Ape Ricots will be coming as soon as  
Kohana and I can get together to write it.  
  
TO THE STORY!  
  
______________________________  
Episode 3: Saitou Does Not Like Green Eggs and Ham  
__________________________________________  
  
Saitou Hajime walked along a fairly well trodden path to the dwelling of  
Himura Kenshin – the Kamiya dojo.  
  
Kenshin: *pops out of the dojo* Oro? *looks up at Saitou and narrows his  
eyes* ...Saitou.  
  
Saitou: *also narrows his eyes...more* Battousai.  
  
Kenshin: Saitou.  
  
Saitou: Battousai.  
  
Kenshin: Saitou.  
  
Saitou: Battousai.  
  
Sanosuke: *shakes his fist at them while eating a bag of Doritos* GET OFFA  
MAH LAWN YOU CRAZY KIDS!!!  
  
Saitou: NEVERRRRR! Muahahahaha...Muahahahaha...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA---  
*cough. hack. wheeze.*  
  
Kaoru: GASP! *rushes over to Saitou* Oh, are you all right, dear? Let  
grandma make you some nice fresh chocolate chip cookies, okay?  
  
Saitou: *sniffs and wipes tears from his eyes* Th-th-thanks, gramma.  
*sniff*  
  
Kaoru: Oh, don't mention it, dear! *magically produces chocolate chip  
cookies out of thin air*  
  
Kenshin: Oroooo? *suddenly gets a glazed look, as if he was in a trance. Or  
on drugs.* HITORI DE WA, TOOI ASHITA WO! YOAKE NO MAMA DE, KOESOU DE!  
  
Yahiko: *runs out of the dojo and smashes a rock on Kenshin's head*  
KENSHIN!!!! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SINGING YOUR OWN THEME SONG?!?!  
  
Kenshin: .... X_x  
  
Yahiko: Uh...Kenshin? 0.0 Ken...shin...? *pokes Kenshin with a stick*  
  
Kenshin: ... *twitches slightly* x_X  
  
Saitou: *wipes the last of the cookie crumbs from his mouth.* Now where was  
I?  
  
Sanosuke: WEEEEEEEE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD, THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ!  
  
Saitou: Ah, yes. ---HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! NEEEEVVVVVERRRRR!!!!!!!  
  
Misao: *walks out of a tree* Not even in a train in the rain?  
  
Saitou: No, I will not get off the lawn, not even in a train in the rain.  
  
Misao: *stands on her tiptoes, rocking back and forth to the rhythm of her  
words* Will you get off the lawn in a boat with a moat?  
  
Saitou: No, I will not get off the lawn in a boat with a moat, or a train  
in the rain.  
  
Misao: Will you do it with a frog in a bog? Or a mole that you stole? Or in  
the room with the vacuum? Or on a saddle, with a paddle?  
  
Saitou: *appears to be getting frustrated* No! I will not get off the lawn  
in a train in the rain, nor a boat with a moat, not with a frog in a bog,  
or a mole that I stole, I will not do it in a room with a vacuum, and not  
on a saddle with a paddle; I will not get off the lawn anywhere! I will  
not, will not eat green eggs and ham!  
  
Misao: -_-;;; Don't change the subject, you jerk! *runs away crying*  
  
Aoshi: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *sits down and starts chewing the grass  
contentedly*  
  
Saitou: When did Shinomori get here?  
  
Sanosuke: *gazes off into the distant wonderingly* Who knows, Saitou? Who  
in this modern, fast-paced world knows? Who knows...?  
  
Kaoru: *switches on the X-files theme music*  
  
Yahiko: Kenshin?! Kenshin! Wake up! *starts crying* Keeennnshiiin!!!  
  
Kenshin: X_____x  
  
Yahiko: WHY, OH WHY?!  
WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????!!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!!!??????  
?? AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: O.O" *backs away slowly*  
  
Yahiko: *grabs Dr. Genzai out of thin air* YOU! TELL ME WHY!!!!  
  
Genzai: I got the blues, yeeeaaah!  
  
Yahiko: GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! *throws Genzai into the Dead Sea and laughs evilly  
while an elephant wanders past and swallows Egypt.*  
  
Saitou: *realizes he has run out of cigarettes.*  
  
Sano: Run outta ciggys there, mister? I'll get you some!  
  
Saitou: SHUT UP! I HATE YOU! *twitches and lights a stick on fire, then  
puts it in his mouth* ...It's...It's...IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME!  
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Soujiro: *walks by with Pea-san, holding a tray of candles* CANDLES! GET  
YOUR CANDLES!  
  
Aoshi: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *eats Soujiro's hair*  
  
Soujiro: ACK! That won't do at all! GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU STUPID COW!  
*whacks Aoshi with a dead beaver and grows new hair*  
  
Aoshi: @___@ Moooooooooooooo...Ow....Mooooooooooo...  
  
Pea-san: I WANT TO STEAL YOUR PEAS!  
  
Soujiro: Hai, now isn't that the truth? CANDLES! GET 'EM WHILE THEY'RE HOT!  
  
Saitou: Battousai, I bring you greetings from Mars.  
  
Kenshin: Cool.  
  
Yahiko: Wha...? O.o I thought you were---B-but you were just---  
  
Kenshin: Yes. A professional wild chicken tamer.  
  
Kaoru: Pa wants his cupcakes, little Mary! Here you go! *hands cupcakes to  
a random little kid*  
  
Little Kid: But, miss, my name is Steven...And my Pa got killeded when that  
ol' soda machine crashed down on him and squashed his brains. They didn't  
taste as good when they were squashed...  
  
Everyone: *turns around slowly to stare at him*  
  
L.K.: *nervously* Not that I ate them or anything! Eh...heh...heh...No, I'm not  
an evil alien trying to take over your puny planet of e-arth...YOU'RE SO  
MEAN! *runs away*  
  
Saitou: Ahem. Battousai, I suggest we finish our duel from the days of the  
Revolution.  
  
Kenshin: Hai, de gozaru yo.  
  
Both: *suddenly whip out decks of cards from somewhere* IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-  
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-  
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-  
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-  
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kenshin: I SUMMON BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON!  
  
Saitou: AHA! NOW I SHALL SUMMON KURIBOH, THE WEAKEST FUZZBALL EVER AND  
MAGICALLY DESTROY YOUR DRAGON BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN THE HEART OF THE  
MEATLOAF!  
  
Kenshin: The Heart of the Meatloaf will never defeat...THE HEART OF THE PORK!  
I summon A SWIRLY TORNADO PERSON!  
  
Saitou: GAAAAAAASP!  
  
Kenshin: AhahaHA, now you won't stand a chance! THE FATE OF THE WORLD RESTS  
IN A CHIPMUNK'S HANDS, YUGI!  
  
Saitou: I counter your Swirly Tornado Person's attack with POWERPUFF  
ASSAULT! On Blossom! On Buttercup! On Bubbles! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO  
ALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!  
  
Kenshin: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cards: *sudden disintegrate*  
  
Kenshin: Aw, darn it! 0.o I mean...uh...Oro?  
  
Saitou: It is a draw...*gets evil glint in his eyes* For now!  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!  
  
Yahiko: Someday soon, I hope that rabbit gets his Trix. Whether it be  
yogurt or cereal, it doesn't matter. Just please, don't make him suffer  
anymore! *sob*  
  
Soujiro: GEEEEEEEEEEET YER CANDLES!  
  
Kaoru: Cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cooooooookies!!!!!  
  
Sanosuke: *stands motionless for a moment, then shakes his fist.* GET OFFA  
MAH LAWN, YOU CRAZY KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Aoshi: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Saitou: I HATE YOU ALL! ...Except for you, gramma! *smiles pleasantly at  
Kaoru, then growls evilly at everyone else and runs off.*  
  
THE END.  
  
__-________-__________-_________-________  
  
A/N: Uh...Review? O_O;;;; 


End file.
